either way he was missing a nipple.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
