Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
