i think my mom watched the whole time
People with herpes should wear stickers.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
