So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
