Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You dont lie about slip and slides
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
