You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
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