I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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