Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
