With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
