i barfeds in our rink
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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