I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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