I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
nutella sex= disaster
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize