haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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