Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
