I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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