I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize