He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
