Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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