my text book just quoted the cookie monster
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
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