Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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