i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
