I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Houston, we have a blender
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
