a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
