saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I want to be your penis for a week.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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