you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
