Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
