I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
