if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I want her autograph on my taint
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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