Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
