Define "chronic" masturbator.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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