I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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