all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
