love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
