Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
