So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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