I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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