Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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