I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
