dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
