you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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