apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
