This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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