So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
