apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I need to calm my uterus...
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
