But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
wanna go halves on a baby?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize