I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Semen is not good for contacts.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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