Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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