I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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