Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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