I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
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