So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
