Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
