I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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