her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
