good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
