the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
