PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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