I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
