Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
