i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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