i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
